Zonelam 08

To all Konkani Lovers & Haters out there,

The Government in Goa has managed to come to atleast one unanimous decision: they have commissioned Bill Gates to create a Konkani Version of Windows 2008 exclusively for Goa and other Konkan regions in India.

The Microsoft Team is already hard at work on this new totally new interactive CD-ROM upgrade, which is to be called "ZONELAM 2008".

In this version, a mouse shall be called UNDIR. A mouse buttom shall be called UNDRACHO BUTAO. As ZONELAM 08 opens, the theme music shall "UNDRA MOJEA MAMA".

Here is a preview of some commands which have already been worked out by the Microsoft Team USA, which has entered into special inter-global collaboration with the Abu Dhabi Gulf Konkan Advisors Inc. led by Miss Lianne Rodricks from Reuters, and the Goenkar Papde Association Siolim, exclusively for this project:

Ignore = Mar Shendi

Exit = Vashimbor

Click = Fottu Kadd

Double Click= Don Fottu Kadd

Byte = Ghass Mar

Save = Bankan dorr

Hide = Lipoi

Unhide = Sogleank dakoi

Hang = Lamboi

Stop = Tamboi

Move = Aloi

Turn on = Pettoi

Turn off = Paloi

Yahoo = Shami Kapoor

WORD 7 = UTOR 7

EXCEL = SHANPON

Delete = Zok Mar

Open = Dakoi

Enter = Bhitor hio

Insert = Bhitor ghal

PageUp = Voir cadd

PageDown = Sokol cadd

BackSpace = Fattlean suat

Close = Bonn cor

Save = Samavun dhor

Home = Ghara voch

End = Kabar

I hope my contributions are worth and I hope people at MS won’t have problems accepting our additions. Meanwhile, Siolekar would have been better named as COPCAR (:-) instead of Papde. The name BILL GATES would translate as "KONTACHE DARVANTTE". The name MICROSOFT would translate as "DAKTULLO POCPOCHIT. There is still some disagreement over whether the ZONELAM 2008 Version will use the Devnagri or the Roman Script.

Mr.Churchill Alemao has however denounced that this disagreement is purely politically motivated, and has suggested a novel way to reach a compromise by using the Greek script, as he claims that, that is what computers are to him.

Apple Macintosh, of course, has made a very strong bid for the Konkani version of their own superior but limited-use specialised software.

However the latest update on the situation is that the Goan Government has insisted they change their logo from an Apple to a Cashew first.

Finally, should one fail to exit ZONELAM 08 properly before shut-down, the new version has been fitted with a warning device which will activiate a reminder alarm in two-voice harmony digitally sampled from the vocal cords of Goan troubadros Mr.Caetano de Abreu and Mr.Timoteo

Fernandes, which goes as "Goenchim computeram, Mottinch pomprelam, Ratin ukttim

dottai Zonelam...

Hoi Zonelam".